2/4/16

Johnny Football . . .


I don't like Jonathan Paul Manziel for a million reasons (slight hyperbole) but here are the top FIFTEEN (in no particular order):

  1. He's 23 years old and still insists everyone calls him "Johnny". Jonathans should stop being "Johnny" long before making their first millions.
  2. Manziel was first arrested as a freshman in college - for a public altercation after a friend of his used a racial slur to address a 47-year-old stranger. He had THREE fake IDs on him at the time of his arrest (and presented one to the arresting officer)
  3. Manziel overslept and left the "Manning Passing Academy" (a super-elite circle jerk for quarterbacks and the men who make money managing their careers) and nothing. happened.
  4. He sold autographs, as an NCAA athlete. Many, many players have lost their scholarships for letting boosters buy them tattoos. What was Mr. Manziel's punishment? He had to sit the first half of a meaningless game against Rice (the school vs. the starch).
  5. He does this "thing" with his fingers where he's rubbing money and he does it at people. In a taunting way. And he thinks it validates him.
  6. Johnathan was drafted 22nd in the 1st round of the 2014 NFL draft. He plays football for a living. I can dislike him for that. I shouldn't . . . but I can/do.
  7. He's not a "good" professional football player. I'm sure the incessant hangovers don't help but in two, full seasons in the league a few key stats include: 14 starts, five interceptions and seven touchdowns, and a career "passer rating" of 79.4. What does that mean? Context . . . the average passer rating, league-wide, in 2015 was 91.0. He's that much worse that mediocre.
  8. During his rookie season he got in a group brawl/mele at 2:30 AM because a man approached his "crew" in his apartment building. No arrest.
  9. He's an alcoholic with the resources and means to battle the illness. I don't dislike him for the addiction - I dislike him because he only has to "work" 25 weeks a year (maximum) and he's a millionaire on his own and many, many times over by family tradition. He could get himself healthy but - instead - he makes money signs with his fingers.
  10. He is so inaccurate as a thrower he missed the head of a man he was throwing a water bottle at - while an adult/professional athlete at a charity golf tournament. No arrest.
  11. Manziel drank in the afternoon (during the season), drove his drunk girlfriend home - hit her (by his own admission) on the way, got pulled over, admitted drinking and hitting a woman, got to drive the rest of the way home. No arrest. FIND ME a guy making minimum wage who gets to do that.
  12. In the wee, small hours of the morning of the last game of his second season Manziel was (allegedly) in Vegas. In a wig. And sunglasses. He never showed up for a doctor's visit in Cleveland and his employer could not get ahold of him.
  13. A few weeks later Manziel is said to have hit his girlfriend several times, drove drunk/high (?), and hit her some more. Oh - he threatened to kill her and himself, too. No arrest. 
  14. There is a picture of him floating around a pool on a huge, inflatable swan. That's CLEARLY a reason you can dislike someone. CLEARLY.
  15. Despite all this he is STILL gainfully (and lucratively) employed and he has other employers openly interested in his "talents" and they are willing to pay him MORE to come work for them. That is something we can all agree is dislike-able. 

Now - let's be clear - Mr. Manziel is an employee of the National Football League and its (not really a) subsidiary, the Cleveland Browns. I hate them for a million reasons, the only ones that matter being that they let this young man stay on their payroll, act as he does, endanger himself and others, and don't blink an eye because - well - money. And let me remind every one of you (with the Super Bowl just days away) that if you watch the NFL you are officially (not hyperbole) part of the problem. You are an enabler to the league, its teams, and its players - like Mr. Manziel. Enjoy the "big game".