Leia . . .

I am, for all intents and purposes, a "typical male". I have a hard time (try as I might) not noticing women. I don't openly lust after them (often) and I don't think (perhaps I should say I hope and pray) I've ever been outwardly inappropriate with any of women. I'm speaking, perhaps obviously, about women minding their own business and walking around or filling their gas, or shopping at the grocery store.

Because of my sexual wiring and personal preferences there are very few women of the silver screen that do much for me (particularly the older I get) but I have to say - will full candor - that any of you Internet trolls that are going out of your way to criticize Carrie Fisher's appearance in the new Star Wars movie (yes, I saw it with my daughter this weekend and while I'll admit it is 100x "better" than the first six pieces of crap combined it is still not, in my never humble opinion, a "good" movie). I digress.

Back to my point. There are actually men (of all ages, I would like to point out) walking around amongst you right now who feel somehow robbed that Carrie Fisher, nearly 40 years after first appearing as "Princess Leia" has, in fact, aged. They think she's gotten "old". Some called her "fat" (which is an abuse of the word by any stretch). Many think her face is too wrinkly. Yes. These are real criticisms.

Apparently they remember her as the "sexy" woman who wore bikinis and flitted about kissing her brother and Han Solo in the middle chapters of this never-ending trope of horrors. I'd like to point out to you Perverts of Perverts that the ONLY time we really see Leia's flesh is when she's an actual slave. In chains. Forced to dance for Jabba the Hut (who I have to presume is all misplaced masculine woe in the form of a big, mucus covered "hut"). Is THAT the Leia who longed for? Is THAT the one you hold in your creepy sexual fantasies? Because she wears robes, turtlenecks, cloaks, and hair buns in my memory.

If Carrie Fisher ever was beautiful or is now (I'd say "yes" to both timeframes) is not the point and she was very clear that she wants the debate - pro or con - to stop. That some expected her to remain young, nubile, and "sexy" (while standing next to a Harrison Ford who looks far less "Han Solo" or appearing in the same film as a Mark Hamill so changed by time they won't even show his whole body in his brief appearance (oh, yeah, sorry - SPOILER ALERT)) is stupid. It is crass. It is lame. Look at ANY woman you know who was alive in 1977 (regardless of her age at the time) and ask if she looks the same . . . or if you want her to. If the answer is "yes" you're lost and you, as Carrie Fisher so casually remarked on Twitter - can blow us.