11/6/15

Spousal Failure . . .


While the rest of you were enjoying a casual Sunday, 11/1 or returning to a typical Monday on 11/2, there were a few couples in America having less than typical (we would hope) days. Who am I talking about?

Former-famous people Lisa Rinna and Harry Hamlin and current Lahoma, Oklahoma Mayor Theresa Sharp and otherwise-unknown husband Cary Sharp.

And WHY were they struggling earlier in the week? Because HALLOWEEN.

You see both of these husbands just couldn't sit home and hand out mini Snickers bars and enjoy the World Series like all the other schlubs. Nope. They had to dress up like KKK members and rally around a cross in the front lawn and go out on the town with a swastika t-shirt on.

But don't worry . . . the wives were there to clean up the mess.

It seems (and you're gonna feel better after this) Mr. Sharp was just one of "four good ol' boys sitting around drinking beer and things got out of control." Mayor Sharp apologized, after learning of the event the next day, and even went on to elaborate that the cross was never actually burned and to emphatically state her husband is not a member of the KKK (her paraphrased words . . . no affiliation).

Rinna, for her part, was actually with her husband Harry Hamlin when he put on his t-shirt with an icon actually ruined from otherwise pure intent by the Nazis and their mission to take over the world. But be cool . . . as her Instagram post clearly states (yeah - you read that correctly INSTAGRAM is the spot for a 52 year-old-woman to apologize for her 64-year=old fella . . . Check it out (complete with stock image, emoticon, grammatical nightmares, and tons of "likes" and supporters in the comments:


Yeah. Turns out they were being the "authentic" Sid and Nancy (minus, you know, the heroin that ran through their bodies and eventually killed Nancy while Sid slumbered near her). And forget that Sid Vicious was a Sex Pistol (known for their contempt and fire-branding) and Harry Hamlin is best known for . . . for . . . for . . . (why is he famous?).

Now I know, I know . . . let's all relax. No one was harmed and the intent was pure. I sorta guess that is fair and okay (far be it for me to judge) but I have to acknowledge that I'm far less comfortable with their wives and their felt need to apologize and smooth the waters than the men and their stupidity (which I can only label and dismiss as stupidity).

I'll ask for SLF to be patient with me and accept me for my shortcomings, flaws, stubbornness, and crappy decision making and might ask her to manage the politics of her family and the dynamic I share/make/ruin with them but I'll never, ever ask her to apologize for me publicly (and am going to state here she would never do it anyway). That is spousal failure. If you're old enough to get married, wear a crappy costume, and offend the not-even-masses (I'll point out here - largely flat and empty outrage that hasn't exactly caught on in the national dialogue so maybe we're all getting a little more willing to contextualize these acts) than you're old enough to apologize for yourself via Instagram or local TV station, at least.

One final point . . . I've said it before, I'll say it 1,000 more times . . . adults should just leave Halloween alone and focus on things like dignity, self-respect, and cultural and historic sensitivity. AND stop embarrassing their spouses in these public ways.