10/22/15

Star Wars . . .



Quietly, and with little fan fare, a series of six movies has trickled out over the last 38 years. You may have heard of them - if you're really, truly plugged in to the world of small-scale art house films. The series is called Star Wars. Sound familiar?

Here's something you probably also have not, yet, heard about . . . the seventh movie in the series is coming out later this year. Yeah, yeah - it is true. They made another one of these movies. Why? Money.

Let's be clear - fan boys and girls - you can claim ALL you want that you love the series and all it has offered but critical archives will prove to you that you've really liked exactly ONE of the six movies (the fourth in the series and second released "Empire Strikes Back") and you straight-up hated the last three (first three sequentially).

So WHY do you still love these movies? Money. Or the money spent. You see when your parents were young parents and you were born you got taken to the first ones and then you were young parents thirty years later and you took your kids (or really wanted to - they were too young) so you, instead, bought the first ones on VHS and then DVD and then wide-screen DVD and then blu-ray DVD and then directors, remastered cut DVD, and then digital copies because - screw plastic discs. You also bought alllllllllllllllll the toys. And you bought shirts and fake light sabers. You bought comic books, novels, and graphic novels, you bought ring tones and posters. You spent soooo much money on these movies you could, simply put, not be wrong or not love these movies.

So now, a decade on from the last one, Disney (a small, independent entertainment company with small amusement parks in Florida and California and a few other places) has spent four BILLION dollars to acquire Lucas Films and the 27 films (don't forget Indiana Jones, Howard the Duck and The Land Before Time - among others - came with the collection) and other things, like a ranch and orchestra-sized recording studio that came with it for the rights (let's be honest) to make three more of these money piling adventures.

They hired one of the most creative guys (and his Bad Robot buddies) in movies and television today - they fixed Star Trek, right? - and they let him have allllllll the money to make this movie and he has a Kennedy running the franchise (for no apparent reason) and he's got his choice of every actor in the world (because, well, money) and he's spent years on this one and here's all we know - nothing.

They are not telling the world anything (officially) beyond a few character names (on the toys and merchandise) and some loose ties between them and blah, blah, blah.

Watch this trailer and tell me what you learn (now what you think you know or what you can hypothesize but what you know):



Yeah. That is what I thought. Yet this movie will make more money than any other movie in the history of film (sorry, Avatar, you're not going to hold on to that record for much longer) and it will only raise the bar and goals for parts eight and nine of the franchise.

I'm fine with this. I don't care. I've long since accepted that we don't actually want creativity or imagination or originality in our movies . . . we want booms and bips and bright explosions and simple story lines that could wrap up in 102 minutes but last 108 minutes so they can set up the sequel (which they will do with this one in December).

It's cool. I get it, My kid is wicked excited for this movie so - the cycle will repeat, the money will be made, the pretend "love" for the franchise will continue. We've ALL invested too much for it to fail.