Fifteen things I don't want to die from . . .
- Discovering a Food Allergy Two Minutes Too Late
- Testicular Trauma
- Rap Feud
- By "Holding My Breath" Despite Thousands of Cliche Urgings Not To
- A Frozen Bowel Movement Dropped from a Jet Passing Overhead
- Choking on a Chicken Bone
- Too Much Time in a Hot Tub
- Being Run Over After Being Tied to Train Tracks by a Villain with a Bad Moustache
- Fist Fight with a Middle School Bully (While My Current Age/Life Position)
- Over Indulgence While Touring a Magical Chocolate Factory
- Sobbing to Death While Watching an Early-00s Rom-Com
- While Running Down the Middle of Central Avenue at 5:30 AM CT
- Getting Lost in a Corn Maze
There are millions of other things I also do NOT want to die from but those are top of mind.