9/3/15

52 Weeks of Sport . . .

I know that many people think of him exclusively in the context of his movies (and their declining critical and box office success) but I really, really like Kevin Smith.

Not ONLY is he a fellow schlubber that also struggles with the balance of unrepentant self confidence and inescapable self doubt but he's very bright, very funny, and very engaging. He is also the host of one of my favorite podcasts, Smodcast.

One of a few dozen podcasts on his network of podcasts, this one is the weekly one that (I think) started it all and every episode, co-hosted by Scott Mosier. I find it hilarious. It is, generally, just random, random things including - this week - a challenge for Scott to name 52 sports he would play for a week out of a year if there was a gun to his head. Full disclosure the discussion started by the request to prioritize curling as a sport and ended with Scott having to defend why he would shoot a pet bunny before a bear (I told you it was random)).

The key takeaway was . . . if I (hater of all sports) had a gun to my head could I come up with 52 sports I would play and in what order would I partake. The results (which I've tweaked several times over the last several days) are below.
  1. Mini Golf. Straight up my favorite sport ever.
  2. Bocce. A close second favorite and one that I'm fairly good at.
  3. Olympic Recurve Archery. All day, errrryday.
  4. Running. I hate it and but I do it near daily so it would be disingenuous to not burn a week in the run down (no pun intended) doing it.
  5. Croquet. All white clothing, out of respect. 
  6. Pickleball. The latest sensation that is sweeping the nation.
  7. Kayaking. I love to do it. I just hate the snakes and physics of getting in and out of the boat.
  8. Biking. Seems obvious, right?
  9. Walking. If running counts . . . WALKING counts.
  10. Air Hockey. If this much fun is wrong, I don't wanna be right.
  11. Foosball. Don't go over the bars, man. That's cheating.
  12. Bowling (Ten-Pin). The classic including pizza and mozzarella sticks and soda by the pitcher.
  13. Bowling (Candlepin). I've only ever seen or played it in New England but it is big there . . . and FUN.
  14. Shotput. I wouldn't be GOOD at it but I'd enjoy this week.
  15. Boxing. Same thing. I'd be exhausted and get black eyes just trying to put my gloves on but I would enjoy the experience. Sparring only. No ACTUAL violence. 
  16. Hiking. If running and walking count - their cousin (walking up and down hills) counts.
  17. Darts. What could possibly go wrong?
  18. Billiards. Eight ball, corner pocket, and other things I can't actually pull off. 
  19. Pinball. Worked for Tommy.
  20. Shuffleboard. Sticking with our bar games theme . . . more closing it out. 
  21. Curling. Scott Mosier would want it this way.
  22. Ultimate Frisbee. I don't know about "ultimate," Brewster. 
  23. Juggling. Tossing balls. In the air. With both hands.
  24. Driving Range Golf. No need to put it in the hole - just get some air under it.
  25. Batting Cage Baseball. Slow pitch, baby. SLOW pitch.
  26. Tennis. I always used to love it for stress relief.
  27. Racquetball. Moving at high speed until someone loses their eye. At best. 
  28. TV Tag. The best of ALL the tags. The ONLY one you need. The ONLY one you should play.
  29. Watermelon Seed Spitting. Because why NOT?
  30. Yachting. Seems super complicated and not even all that much fun but - let's give it a shot.
  31. Canoeing. Quiet. Calm. But . . . those snakes. Still with the snakes.
  32. Badminton. Shuttlecock. At the speed of fun.
  33. Yoga. Many would argue it is therapy vs. sport but - I sweat a lot while trying it so . . . sport.
  34. Luge. Sledding only way, way faster and much more hostile.
  35. Jenga. Not even kidding. Totally a sport - mental strategy, physical stability, etc.
  36. Swimming. I'm totes buoyant. 
  37. Kickball. So much fun, fun, fun. It has been far too long since I last played.
  38. Dodgeball. Same ball, different strategy.
  39. Volleyball. It is like great, great backyard fun only without the actual fun.
  40. Connect Four. It's a sport. Trust me.
  41. Disc Golf. Seems fun . . . not at all. But, hey, I'm DEEP in to the year and looking for options.
  42. Soccer. Yes, yes. The beautiful game. Good for running and fun.
  43. High Diving. Gravity is the only fight I'll never pick. Forget platform diving - HIGH diving.
  44. Snorkeling. It is like swimming with a better view and a breathing tube.
  45. Cricket. The rest of the world may be wrong about soccer (futbol) but I have a good feeling about cricket. Let's give it a shot.
  46. H-O-R-S-E. I can't get down with actual basketball but trick shots and - dare to dream  -NERF hoop at that? I'm in. Through the legs, over the back, under the rain gutter, nothing but net. While blindfolded.
  47. Boogie Boarding. Because boogie. 
  48. Ping Pong. I enjoy table tennis but I can't play for a full week without a, well, gun to my head.
  49. Line Dancing. If you can win a competition, it is a sport. And I'm truly running out of options.
  50. Softball. I'm an overweight, middle-aged man. Get me a knee brace and put me in, coach.
  51. Lacrosse. I'm a white, middle-class male who went to college at a private school in New England. Let's have some sticked fun.
  52. Speed Stacks. Because it looks fun. 
So. What are you playing with that gun to your head?