7/29/15

Be Ready . . .

I would like to think I'm one of those "always ready"sort of fellas. I carry cash. I have jumper cables. I never fly without gum while flying (ear popping). I can spend the forty five seconds before a meeting getting ready for said meeting (that I had a month of notice on). I can Google a solution to just about any problem.

I am ready. I am prepared.

Yet - fast forward to a few days ago when I found out my ex-wife is already remarried (I thought I had until December).

Now I know that I'm better off at this point in my life and I know she is too. I know that we've done all the right things at the right time for the right reasons. The rough stuff and the hurt and horrible is over . . . long over and yet, like any good crisis that doesn't involve having a spare dollar or a smart phone, I was not sure what the heck to do.

I did the only thing I could. I made a crass, coarse joke. I changed the subject. I nodded my head and pretended to be part of the rest of the conversation. I waited until I was alone. I had a good cry (that song is just taking advantage of a chance to make you listen to some classic Brian McKnight). I fell in to a funk for a good 48 hours. I got in a spat with SLF over whether I should go to the emergency room or just make a doctor's appointment for a malady (turns out she was right - ignoring it might have been deadly - I'm on my way to fine now, thanks for inquiring), cried again (because I spatted with the greatest person my life has ever been blessed with over some bullsh*t) and I moved along.

The best part about being caught off guard is that I couldn't be in my own head any longer than the reaction phase. Being unprepared is the new black.