|Because tossing leaves in the air in the light of a setting sun|
makes everything better.
I am not going to usurp terms like "depressed" or "sad" or whatever . . . I leave those for people who are fully formed enough to know when they feel these things but I've been far less than giddy about "stuff".
That has finally - in just the last few months - started to change. I'm not as grumpy. I'm not as short. I'm not as distant. I'm not as disinterested or listless. I haven't acted out or been impulsive (beyond toast toppings or which pair of penny loafers to throw on in the AM) in many, many months.
I feel like I finally have my life back and the dust has settled on things and I've Swiffered most of the sediment away to leave a shine and lemon smell.
It, frankly, feels great. I like being "present" and I like being comfortable and aware. The point of this post is not to look like one of those "My Life is GREAT" people (I loathe those people) but is, instead, a confession . . . of sorts. There are a handful of things, you see, that have made me smile or laugh or both or more these last few years.
No matter what is happening there are things that have always brought me "joy".
They include - in alphabetical order since they might otherwise be listed in no particular order . . .
- Books - I really do love to read. It gets me out of "here" for a while. I'm currently reading "Telegraph Avenue", "The Maltese Falcon" (I'm behind on the Big Read), and "The Spirituality of Welcoming"
- Challah - It is sweetened egg bread that has been braided. What's not to love?!
- Charlie - I have finally met the world's dumbest dog (an "honor" I would argue just about all dogs are in the running for) and the world's most annoying dog (an "honor" I would also argue just about all dogs are in the running for) and for some reason I'm fine with her (yes, Charlie is a she (I've never asked)) most of the time. My new favorite "thing" with her? Beggin' Party Poppers.
- Crayons - Is it irony that Charlie ate the last box I purchased.
- Debate - Arguing . . . for the sake of verbal and mental exercise, is a wonderful thing. My latest topics include "How Social Media Will Kill Us All: You Don't 'Like' a Death Notice", "Fictionalizing Abuse as a Way of Coping: J.K. Rowling and Some Dude Named Harold", and "The NFL: Why Are You People Watching and Supporting and Begging for a Super Bowl?" among others. Swing by any time if you want to talk out the above or anything else.
- Fast & Furious - There is ALWAYS time for a marathon. It is soooooo good.
- Jewish Culture - Come for the belief system, STAY for the Judaica. It is no coincidence that the only religion in the world with its own shelf in the cookbook section of most bookstores has a steep culture beyond food. It just goes and goes. I'm currently fixated on several mezuzah, at least eight days worth of hanukkiah (don't call them a menorah, rookie), and enough kippah to cover the entire downtown area. And that's just the beginning. The books, cookbooks, plates, candles, music, art, etc. . . . Oy vey.
- Music - I love NPR, random, music and podcasting, podcasting and music. Music just a little more than the other two because I always fully control it.
- Running - I got super fat and super lazy in 2014. The last few weeks have seen my body take revenge as I try to start seriously running/training for another half marathon. I still enjoy the same things about running I did before . . . being alone with my thoughts.
- This Old House Magazine - It makes me want to be a better (more crafty and mechanically inclined) man.
- This Website (i)
- This Website (ii)
- This Website (iii)
- Vocabulary - You're two minutes away from a nascent word or two.
- Yiddish - It is like Hebrew only way, way more fun.
Bookmark this post - just in case you ever see me looking dirty and smelling unlemony. I will probably appreciate the nudge back toward happy.