10/16/14

Soup . . .

There are few cliches in the world that I really enjoy . . .


  • A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush? How are we defining "value" these days?
  • The best offense is a good defense? What are we talking, soccer?
  • Vial of your lover's blood around your neck? Seems very unsanitary.
  • I can't drive 55? When is the last time there was even a zone with a 55 MPH speed limit?


I could go on (and get increasingly less compelling in my chosen examples of a cliche) but, instead, I will get to the point and tell you one cliche I DO get my large, bulbous ass behind . . . October is SOUP WEATHER!

Now I know what you are thinking . . . "Really? A post about soup?" Yes. Did you not see the subject line above? What SHOULD you be thinking? "Well, soup really is f*cking delicious."

Because. It. Is.

Soup, for the record, is one of the few "universal" foods. While certainly not every culture in the world has the equivalent to a bowl of matzo ball soup (because Jew food is the BEST food - that is why!) every part of the globe has at least the pureed vegetable and/or the broth variety soup somewhere in its pantry/bag of tricks.

Soup can be sweet (a nice watermelon gazpacho on the roof of the Hotel Washington (turned W) overlooking the White House, for instance) or savory (bean and chicken sausage stew . . . with the kale AND the beans (let's make love)) or comforting (chocolate chili made by a racist) or jolting (Give me a #5 with the hot and sour, yo. Pick-up. 10 minutes.).

It can be made in 90 seconds (just peel back the metal tab and replace the plastic lid) or take seven or eight hours (slow cooked greatness).

It can  be served by the spoon (amuse bouche . . . pinkies out . . . fancy!), by the mug, the bowl, or the vat.

Crackers? Generally. Bread heels? Whenever available. Salt? The kosher shakes, yo (fun fact - all salt is technically "Kosher" it is the large crystals that will soak up blood in the meat it is coated in that makes the grocery staple Kosher (think of it as a facilitator)). A spoon? If that is the biggest thing you've got to get that good stuff from "here" to "there" (my belly).

I am not kidding when I say this . . . I've blown off social engagements to make soup and I've had people come to my home for the soul (not a typo - this is spiritual, yo) purpose of making soup for them. I've never ONCE had an argument over, around, near, or because of a bowl of soup. I've never been mad at soup. I've never been betrayed by soup. I've never been jealous of soup (more the people that have it when I do not).

Long story long . . . do yourself a favor. Take stock of yourself this year. Put all your woes and worries in a pot. Put a little heat under them and yourself. Stir things around. Get it rolling. Find some good company. Eat, be full, be warmed, be happy.

SOUP WEATHER is here!