Shaving . . .

I could have sworn I've already DONE this post but I can't find it. So . . . shaving!

I have been asked three times in the last few months and I was typing the other day with a friend about shaving supplies and my shaving regime (yes - this is something we "men" do in the year 2014) so I figured I would write this post again so I can just send the link next time someone asks me about my tools-for-beardless-living.

If you don't care about how I shave (and why should you?) . . . move on. No hard feelings. But if you do. If. You. Do. Prepare to be inspired.

A few backgrounders that might be worth noting.

  1. I am the cheapest person you'll probably ever meet (don't insert a Jew joke here - those really aren't all that funny).
  2. I am not a hippie but I do think things like "organic" and "all natural" make sense when you are talking about personal grooming. More importantly, I don't believe you should put anything against your body that is not a naturally occurring substance or material (don't even get me started on f*cking parabens).
  3. I have very sensitive skin.
  4. I hate shaving. HATE it. If the people in my life (really just my daughter) allowed me to have a beard - I would. Not one of those horrible "Duck Dynasty" travesties but a well groomed thing that required clippers vs. blades and accouterments.
We good? Good.

Here we go . . . 

Pre-Shave Ritual
  • Take a warm shower (truly hot water is bad for your skin - be a better friend to yourself) and let the air get steamy
  • Right before I turn off the water I wash my face with my normal face wash and then scrub my cheeks, chin, upper lip, and neck with an exfoliating scrub making sure to make small circles on top of the hair I will soon shave (this roughs it up a little bit aggravates the follicles) 
  • I do NOT dry my face after my shower
  • I use a pre-shave oil on all the places I'm about to shave
The Actual Act of Shaving
  • I do not believe anything good every came from a can so shaving foams are out. I prefer shaving LOTION that doesn't foam, bubble, or make big piles. It really just serves to help the blade glide and to get my little hairs away from the skin itself. I also rub this in circular patterns to rough up my beard.
  • I am pretty sure that if you are using a razor with five or six blades, a vibrating function, and self-despensing moisturizers . . . you're missing the whole point. ONE blade. A safety blade, specifically. I own two - this one is my first and favorite. Trust me on this one, fellas . . . get rid of the disposables and the refillables and get a good, quality safety razor. It WILL cost you a little more upfront but the blades are super cheap so the investment pays for itself rather quickly. 
  • I shave "down". Then I shave "up". Then I do diagonals on my chin. This is not convention procedure and you should know shaving with a safety razor is very different than how most men shave (it is about speed and even pressure vs. jamming your blade in and ripping hair out)
After the Shave
  • Splash of warm water.
  • Another round of apricot scrub to the shaved area.
  • A quick splash of toner on a cotton swab to the whole face and neck.
  • Loud, angry curses at any nicks, cuts, or gushers.
  • After shave balm (no alcohol-based splashes unless you are an actual self-sadist) 
  • A dab of essential oils . . . for the ladies (again - no need for alcohol-based colognes, etc.)
  • Toilet paper squares on the bleeding spots (I get one every four or five times I shave - always at the worst, possible times)
That's it. You're good to go. Get shaving. Be well.