4/21/14

Pledge KMUW . . .


Well, kiddos. It is that MAGICAL time of the (half) year when KMUW alters its normal schedule, pushes that HORRIBLE "The Writer's Almanac" back a few minutes and politely asks that the listeners of Wichita public radio (aka "Your Connection to the World") get out their checkbooks, debit cards, cash, change, last wills and testaments, and tax defer-ables and  GIVES to the station that loves you most.

Now - I'm a HUGE lover of public radio. I listen to 89.1 FM on my Stitcher app, in my shower, in my car, and at my desk MOST of the day. When I'm not streaming the station - I'm listening to podcasts of other NPR (and other contributing organization) shows. I have converted listeners from the dark, dark doldrums of commercial radio and I have made those who believed public radio to be for "hippies, elitists, the over-educated, and the boring" in to elite, over-educated, boring hippies. And I can do the same for you.

I know what you're thinking - I don't have the money to give to KMUW. Poppy-cock! Can you afford $10/month? Yes you can. Can you afford $40 in a lump sum? I'll bet you could. The truth? Can you write a check for $5MM? Yes, Charles Koch you CAN (and SHOULD). There is NO amount of money that is too much or too little (disclaimer - I give $125/campaign - just enough to get my tea mug each drive BUT I beg everyone I know to give, too). And that is where YOU, dear reader, come in.

It is time for Seandraising (it is fundraising but you bump out the first syllable to Sean vs. fun and you give my cleverness its due). That means YOU donate and I take the heat and/or do "stuff" in exchange. Last drive's campaign was almost TOO successful, frankly. I had some good fortune, a few new benefactors and some mis-calculations that drove me along.

Here is what we're pledging for . . .

$1,500 - (Because if we can't put well over a grand in the pot - why are we even playing?) I'll wear jeans to work some Friday and post photos of me in all the shame denim in the workplace can offer.

$1,750- I'll go another six months without talking about my favorite things in the whole, wide, world on social media. Again.

$2,000  - I'll finally admit my true feelings for Megan Lovely. (To clarify - they are not all that different than the feelings I've been sharing all these years).

$2,250 - I'll let anyone that gives $100 or more of the first $2,250 write a post here on the ol' blog. ANY topic you like. ANY tone you choose to take. I get a little over 100 visitors/readers per day. Your blog may be more popular, Perez Hilton, but it doesn't have nearly as many typos. Just think about that, bucko.

$2,500 - Everyone who contributes $25 or more to the first $2,500 raised gets to have their one, true burning question (that I can answer) answered. Let's solve the world's mysteries, people. Like how in the WORLD Sugar Sisters is still a real thing.

$2,750 - I (working with Bailey Blair and a mystery donor) will make the soon-to-be-single, already-ready-to-mingle Walker Schwartz reappear in the 316 area code for four days in mid-May. Get yourselves ready, ladies.

$3,000 - We'll have a Color Me Mine party and sell ALL our spoon rest creations on eBay and we'll give all the money back to the station. Seriously, paint your own pottery places are a HOOT.

$3,250 - I'll destroy every nude photo of my (post-pubescent - my mother is not giving up my baby photos) self ever taken. No. None exist. Just keep telling yourself that . . .

$3,500 - I'll run a 5K with JSzam (she won the right to run one with me in the fall and I ran it but not with her) AND try to keep up.

$3,750 - I'll have a little thing (nothing too serious, a few friends, a grill and some bocce) in my back yard in June. Anyone that gives will be invited (even if I don't like you at alllllllllll).

$4,000 - I'll kayak (swimming last year was ABSURD) a few miles of the Arkansas River in a boat not really intended for a man of my girth.

$4,250 - Whomever gives the $4,250th dollar gets to take over my Twitter account for 48 hours. No restrictions OTHER THAN I get to update my bio to clarify it is not really me Tweeting. I'm HUGE on Twitter, folks. They LOVE me over there.

$4,500 - I'll tell anyone that gives $250 or more on the way to $4,500 my Hebrew name before it is made public at my conversion in a few weeks. Like Carly Simon's "Your So Vain" it will shock you but you can't tell anyone what it is until after the world knows. No. It is not Schlubby Schlomo ben Goldenstein.

FINAL (5/6 at 9:45 PM CT) - Wellllll math was never my strong suit so I re-crunched the numbers and we ended lower than I thought. I need to add one last pledge amount but we are otherwise totaled out at $4,606. I could not be more appreciative of the response to this challenge and I am humbled at your generosity. THANK YOU!

$4,750 - Whomever gives this amount can pick the punishment (some restrictions apply, see store for details).

$5,000 - I'll run the Prairie Fire Half Marathon in October, 2014. Yep. You read it here first. I will run another half marathon . . . THIS TIME for my beloved KMUW AND I'll be wearing a friggin' tutu while I do it.

New rules this drive - you must still DM me through Twitter (@seancamore), message me through Facebook (yawn), hit me up on Google+ (that's the ticket) or e-mail or text me to tell me how much you gave (not pledged - GAVE) and matching funds do NOT count. Just what you give (unless you ARE the match in the matching funds at which point . . . game on).

I'll update the totals as we go and when we hit each goal I'll do one of those happy dances that only obese, middle-aged, white men can do.

So - let's DO this. Let's make Seandraising 2014 a HUGE success. We can be HEROES, people.