4/10/14

Cryptic Blogging . . .

Ha. The Crypt Keeper. Get it? I'm super funny today. On FIRE funny.
I've addressed this a few times in the past (but apparently it is time to do it again). Let me be clear, people, I don't do "cryptic" blogging.

There are no messages in the tea leaves. There are no codes in the characters, typos, sentence structures, or chosen images. I don't indirectly address people, problems, relationships, or opportunities, and I don't subtly point fingers at me, others, or the sky above on this blog.

I don't do that EVER or ANYWHERE.

If I have one true problem it is that I don't do subtle. I don't do quiet. I don't do vague. I don't do cryptic. I have never, ever, ever bitten my tongue. I've never demured. I've never begged off. I've never even taken the high road in my communications strategy.

Just yesterday my professionalism was attacked (to repeat - I take two things in this world seriously . . . my daughter and my work ethic) by a colleague because I didn't drop everything to pretend that her inquiry was important to me or to even acknowledge/answer her question about when I could meet with her a midst four crisis, a kid with strep throat, and a super secret business card order to complete. And NO - I'm not being a hypocrite by vaguely addressing this here. We've been fighting over my indiscretion for nearly 24 hours. I can't shut up about it. I can't swallow my self-righteous indignation. I can't do cryptic. I CANNOT (one word - you are welcome, KER) just close my mouth and be quiet or shy.

When you read THIS do you think I'm telling you about my dating life or relationship status?

  1. Women who may (not) have feelings for/interest in you or who might (not) want you to have feelings for/interest in them do NOT appreciate professions of love to another woman on Facebook.

Do you think I'm EVER going to talk about my dating life or relationship status in vague, subtle terms? Do you think I want you to know ANYTHING about my romantic life via this blog? Pro tip . . . I'm not discussing any healthy or positive relationships in my life via a blog that is read by strangers (and beloved friends and family).

Is there any post on this blog that you have questions about? Any sentence structure that drives you nuts? Any subtle cues and clues you would like de-mystified?

Let me know. I'm here, 24/7 to answer your questions but please, please, please stop thinking you are learning anything about me in the subtle cues of the debacle that is this blog. If I don't SAY it - I am not "saying" it.

Rant adjourned. Here are some facts that you might appreciate . . .

  1. I love only three women that you need to know about in this forum - my daughter, my mother, and Connie Britton.
  2. I will never blog about my dating life. Directly or indirectly (re-read the above). 
  3. Hummus is delicious.
  4. Google+ is better than Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. I HOPE you will not believe me. Keep things quiet "over there" for me. No worries.
  5. George W. Bush was a horrible president and is a horrible, horrible painter/artist. Seriously. Bring your best counter argument. I'll listen, patiently, all day long.
  6. Speaking of creepy puppets . . . The Tales from the Crypt-inspired "Creepshow 2" movie, specifically the vignette "The Raft" scared me so much as a TEENAGER that I shared a bed with my younger brother for the entire summer and refused to go swimming.
  7. Midori was my favorite liquer in the world once upon a time - a long, long time ago. 
  8. I stopped drinking soda 11 days ago. I've hated myself a little more each day for the last 11 consecutive days.
  9. I have purchased three pair of penny loafers in the last week. Yes. Three. I needed them. Shut up. I said I NEEDED them.
  10. If you are not still going through puberty and you have a snapchat account, you need more hugs and/or love and/or therapy in your life. Seriously. 
There. I put some curiosities to rest and I stated some facts to clear up some potential confusions.