Boat Shoes . . .

Let me keep this sorta simple and vaguely to the point (for once) . . . the picture to the right is a boat shoe, Specifically it is a chocolate brown, Sperry Top-Sider (the original boat shoe in color and manufacturer).

Do you like it? Sure you do. It is not footwear for the elite. It is not the shoe of the rich/elite/preppy/pretentious. You do not need to own a boat or even like being on the open sea to wear or enjoy a pair.

Fact is - noting that the soles are made to resist slipping on water vs. gripping any surface or being good on ice - these shoes can be worn just about anywhere at just about any time. Sure, sure, I would SKIP THEM for parole hearings and funerals but you can put them with jeans, chinos, seersucker, COTTON suits (not wool, fellas, come on!), and even dress pants (the right pants, the right pair, an oxford shirt up top). I've seen women pull them off with skirts and even dresses. You can wear them to a casual (Friday?) office, on date night, to the game, to the shore, to the mall, to the buffet, or to run errands. They are super comfortable, easy to mix in to any outfit, etc.

Don't like chocolate brown? NO problem. You can find boat shoes in hundreds of colors, dozens of materials, various combinations of slip-ons, lace-ups, and hybrids, pre-aged or shiny-new, etc. and you can find them from $19 - +$900 depending on your budget and preferences.

Granted . . . these shoes are not TECHNICALLY intended for year round wear (nor, I should clarify, are bluchers/derby shoes despite the fact that I wear mine in the winter anyway) but as long as you're not blaming mother nature or any one but you when you're slipping, sliding, and falling down on ice - I say lace 'em up and be gone with you.

WHY am I telling you this?

You look like an assh*le in your flip flips and sandals. It is MARCH. You are an adult and at work (or at a parole hearing). Put some actual shoes on. Grow up. And get me a pair of these. No, not really . . . I already bought a pair.

But seriously - enough with the flip flops and sandals.