Olympics . . .

Sooooooo you may (MAY!) have heard that the Olympic games are happening in Sochi Russia right now. How would you know?

Probably topics like the uniforms people wore to opening ceremonies (shame on YOU, Ralph Lauren - big ups to YOU, Norwegian Curling Team) or the state of the toilets and the waste policies of them or maybe, MAYBE you heard about some Olympians who didn't make the games (The Red Tomato and Tiger Wood's "Go-To Girl", for instance) or . . . if you're really paying attention some US figure skater who feels she got disrespected and uttered a profanity while on world-wide television.

THESE are the Olympic Games and why we follow them in the year 2014?

Here is why I don't care about these Olympics . . .

  1. They are sports. They are stupid, accordingly.
  2. They are a "symbol" of the best in humanity being played in a country notorious for hurting its own people and being far less than humanitarian to all.
  3. They are being played in a land that is headed by a man who RAN THE KGB forever. For. Ever. You want to talk about great human policies? 
  4. I don't think countries should be incentive-ized to be "better" to their people with Olympic games. Look at Beijing. Find me ONE Chinese person who says "Man, it really SUCKED to live here under this oppression until we got three weeks of the world's attention . . . not it. is. awesome."!
  5. The Russian government acknowledged spying on guests in their hotel rooms. With cameras. In the shower. 
  6. What are the sports being played? Just a collection of people traipsing atop frozen water. Literally.
  7. I miss the Cold War (there - I said it - you should be so brave). Okay. Not really.
  8. The environmental impact of these games is particularly insane and uncalled for - we could probably have found a place where it was actually WINTER (like f*cking Wichita, Kansas) to play and that was close enough to an infrastructure that could really handle these games (like, oh, I don't know . . . MOSCOW!)
  9. Maddie Bowman - who is COMPETING - doesn't even look excited about these Olympics.
  10. There are FIVE Israeli athletes in Sochi and their memorabilia is weak-sauce. 
Anywho . . . go USA and all that stuff. We're all real proud of you. Enjoy the Olympics, if you are so inclined (no judgement) and please, please, please . . . stop with the toilet talk. There are far bigger things to consider and discuss.