2/24/14

Closure . . .

Friday was an important moment for me. I won't get in to too specific of detail but it suffices to say that the financial business of my marriage was laid to rest.

If you divorce in the Great State of Kansas (and I hope you never do (not because Kansas is a bad place to do it but because divorce is a horrible thing to go through) the court will help you with many issues including what sort of money needs to change hands moving forward.

Splitting of personal and shared assets, distribution of shared finances, child costs and support, and - my favorite (and I don't mean that sarcastically, I really do think it is a curious and fair thing to deal with) spousal continuance/maintenance.

This doesn't count if you have a pre-nup or a post-nup or if there are extenuating circumstances, etc. but if you have a "regular" divorce (like I had) just presume it will happen. It is not that painful.

Literally the spouse that makes more money gives a little vig of a specific percentage of the discrepancy of the wages for a percentage of the duration of the marriage. Fine. TOTALLY okay with this.

And I paid mine, happily, every month for the last 19 months . . . I should not be done. I should have a little more time still to go - a little more money to change hands.

BUT my ex-wife called me Friday and said "Let's just be done with this. It is time for us to all move on."

Part of me wondered what the catch was. Part of me wondered what was up. Part of me wondered if she had gone and had a liquid lunch. Part of me didn't care as long as she would put the offer to call it good in writing (just being honest).

We exchanged a few e-mails and it turns out that her heart was in the right place, her intentions true, and her gesture something well thought out and well timed.

So we ended the financial obligations we share outside of our child (well - we'll do our taxes as a couple one. last. time. in a few weeks) and we got some closure.

From here on out the only vigs we kick each other will be based on our child, our mutual well-being, and acts of kindness. If this one, on her part, sets the bar . . . this next chapter of our life is going to be a phase I really, really enjoy.

Happy Monday!