Hot Shower and Cool Whip . . .

I acknowledge, with no great pride our flourish, that I am a stressed out person.

I don't know if I am just wired for anxiety or if there is some weird "take this on, beat it, be stronger" yearning in my soul, or if I am just not as confident as I want the world to believe (that is NOT it, for the record) but I get stressed and grumpy "on the reg" (as the kids never really were saying).

What do I do when I'm stressed? A variety of things . . .

  • Get quiet
  • Get loud
  • Eat allllll the fried foods
  • Listen to profane music at slightly uncomfortable volumes
  • Scream
  • Yell
  • Scream and yell
  • Scream, yell, and eat all the fried foods while profane music plays

Know what I do NOT do?

Grab a tub of Cool Whip and hit the showers . . . but I know someone who does. Yes. You read that correctly. I know a person that deals with being overwhelmed with whipped ingredients (And am I the only one that can NOT say Cool Whip without thinking of Stewie Griffin?) and a hot shower . . . for a long period of time.

Now before you get all dismissive and cynical (you read my blog so I know you are not opposed to such behavior) please note that there are NO ways of dealing with stress that aren't equally laughable.

Oh yeah? You go shopping? Expensive. You go running? Don't even get me started. You do your "breathing exercises"? What are you exercising, exactly - your lungs? You call your mother and talk with her? She's really, truly over that - you are in your 40s for the love of something greater than all of us.

So - to the woman in the 32nd row who likes whipped topping and hot showers when life becomes too much . . . WE salute you!