Guitar . . .

The kid and I got invited to a birthday party Sunday morning. We got invited on Monday night. I get that people are crushed, rushed, and crazy with time so I don't mind that but what I did mind was that I am HORRIBLE at getting gifts for kids and I felt this "pressure" to get a gift quickly.

I called to RSVP and even asked the kid's mother to call me back with any direction she might offer (my child, for her part, insisted the ONLY thing the girl likes in the "whole world" was One Direction and tobacco products). No returned call.

SOOOOOOOOO - we got the kid a guitar.


To be fair it is a "child-sized starter" guitar (as per the box) and we got stickers and puff paint so the kid could decorate it and make it her very own.

It isn't a Harry Styles doll or a journal with all the boys on the cover but, since it was not a banner f*cking year at the old Bender house, it was also not a carton of Malboro Reds. Is it a "polite" gift to give a child? No. Is it a quiet, small, manageable gift? No. Is it a gift that I would want my kid to get at a birthday party? Heck yes.

I am not trying to imply that this small gesture on our part will awaken some great, musical passion in this girl who will go on to fame, fortune, and eventual rehab stints or public scrutiny. I'm not trying to pretend that she will give my daughter a "jellyfish tailed fist bump" because it will be her favorite gift in the history of toys, books, arts and crafts supplies, and tattoo parlor gift certificates. Nope. I'm just trying to get a gift that she might enjoy, that might give her some pleasure, and that might prompt a call back to the next parent who wants some simple advice on what to buy a kid for their birthday.