This was, I'm sorta timid to say, the first serious car thing I've ever been part of. I once messed up my mother's minivan when I hit black ice on New Year's Day in Upstate and spun around a few times before backing down a steep hill then hitting a tree to stop my long, slow decline. I've had a few "little" things over the years but nothing that made me do the whole "slow motion" actualization and even slower motion watching the whole thing happen in disbelief. And yet - there it is/was . . . all three seconds that felt like three hours of it.
I'm pleased to say that my life did not flash before my eyes (just my evening plans) and I kept my wits about me and was able to actually process all the things that went through my head in the three seconds of hard-driving action I was victim to. Wanna hear about them? Sure you do - you're here, right?
- I really don't like the flavor of gum I bought the other day but it is still in my cup holder. If I die the people that exhume my body are going to think I enjoy it. I do not.
- At least I'm listening to KMUW. I'll die smarter than average.
- I don't know if I'm a kind enough person. I should be more kind. I'm not going to yell at this other driver for screwing up my entire week in these three seconds. (I honored this thought moments later.)
- My daughter is not with me. That is good. This person is going to hit somewhere around where she sits. I love my kid. She's really my favorite person in this world. I'm glad she is not with me right now.
- This is going to be a total headache to deal with.
- I have not kissed nearly enough women (or had nearly enough kisses with the same wom(a/e)n) in this life. I should start giving that advice to people whenever I am put on the spot. Yeah. No more "wooden nickle" advice and, instead, more kissing advice instead. I get creepier by the day.
- I really love this friggin' car. I don't want to be without it for even a day or two.
- I'm going to miss the Wichita Symphony Orchestra tonight and this is my favorite concert of the year. And part of one of my kiddo's Hanukkah gifts. Ugh.
- I eat a banana every day. I am a good enough person. I am going to be just fine and my car is going to be just fine. I'll eat another banana in the morning. This is all just. plain. fine.
- My underpants were clean this morning. How many hours can you wear them before your mother's advice to always have a fresh pair on in case of a car accident becomes relevant?
Seriously, though, all is well. Life is good. Love who you love - hope they love you back. And do more woman kissing (as appropriate).