12/6/13

One Paragraph . . .

I use clip art because THEY use clip art.
Soooooo . . . my parents do this HORRIBLE thing every year during the holiday season. It is horrible even by standards of general holiday misery (think fruit cake, company holiday parties, and Awkward Family Photos) . . . they write an Annual Amore Family Update.

Yeah. That's a real thing. HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE receive it every year. It is fifteen or so pages long (really two - it just reads as long as a chapter from Fifty Shades of Grey). It is basically my mother's version of the year that has passed on our family. And each of us gets a paragraph or two or three.

Some highlights over the years . . .


  • My parents implied I had personally gotten Hillary Clinton elected Senator for the Great State of New York in 2000 (in reality her campaign was a client of my PR firm and I was a part of our team that was part of her media team that was part of her team that was part of the team that was part of the team that was part of the . . . you get the idea).
  • My older brother's role in the toppling of South African apartheid was disclosed (no, he had nothing to do with it - but we were all in support of its demise)
  • Break-ups of otherwise casual dating between the three sons and the ladies who dared love us were shared for all the world

It is horrible. HORRIBLE. So this year my mother - either in her advanced age or in her advanced wisdom decided to honor our constant requests for them to stop writing and sharing our "news" with the world. Instead - she told US to do it.

Uh oh. Trouble. Now I have to sit down and figure out my year and what is fit to print or share with everyone my parents have ever known . . . perhaps literally. So I went through my own brain and tried to figure out what really matters.

In my mother's defense - it is super, super hard. And uncomfortable. Here, without further delay, is my 2013. I sorta' wish I had toppled apartheid or something.

It has been a year of mixed happenings for Sean. His job was eliminated in early-January and he did not find work again until July 1st. In the interim he did lots of additional volunteering with various non-profit groups around town, interviewed a ton, and decided to run a half marathon. Now the Director of Brand Marketing for (company descriptors (excluded out of respect for the brave men that hired me)), he successfully finished his half marathon in October, lost over thirty pounds, and is very happy with work. Sean finalized his divorce in November. (Ex-wife's name (excluded for her privacy)) will always be a loved part of our family and we are glad this chapter is over for the kids. Sean is continuing his conversion to Reform Judaism and hopes to join "the tribe" (as he calls it) in the coming months. (Daughter's name (excluded for her privacy)), now seven and half way through second grade, is having a much more consistent year than her father. She has made a killing in Tooth Fair money, enjoys gymnastics and swimming lessons, is quite the reader, is in love with dinosaurs and the Eiffel Tower, and has become a bit of an "entertainer" with lots of signing, dancing, and story/joke telling. Our Kansas delegation seems well.