Math . . .

Math. I loathe you. LOTS. Why?

You are rules, order, structure, absolutes, and givens. You are things that have been figured out (in bits and pieces and/or summary) for a long, long time and you are just being put next to, against, on top of, below, and next to each other at this point for the exercise.

No one is discovering any new math. It has been a LONG time since a number or integer was discovered. No one is coming up with a new, simpler formula for advanced trigonometric functions. It is unlikely that anyone will come up with a variable placeholder superior to x. As the Beatles once pointed out - there is nothing you can say (about math) that can't be said.

So math - you bastard child of numbers, shapes, and functions - I hate you.

Sure, sure, sure. It is probably at least in part due to the fact that you have vexed me since I was a mere lad (yes, I was a "lad" for the purposes of this blog post). It probably has nothing to do with the fact that you were the only subject (well, your jergov friend Science too, I suppose) that I didn't love in high school, college, or graduate school. I am positive it has NOTHING to do with the fact that statistics is the only class I "earned" a C in during the entirety of my formal education. Nope. NONE of that.

It is because you are boring, and controlled, governed, and masterable. Why can't you be English with the billions of possibilities of word, punctuation, structure, and intent? Why are you not History that - while fact-based - is full of stories, perspectives, distractions, subplots, and things to be repeated? You're not even a foreign language that twists my tongue. At least with science you can blow up test tubes in the lab or make people's ears bleed in the studio.

You stink on ice, math. You are the worst. And screw you for that C, stats and polling instructor.