7/25/13

Stand By Your Man? . . .

I got in to a little snit with a friend of mine on Twitter on Sunday (yes, we all have teenage-style fights in Digital High School's hallowed halls) over Tiger Woods. It seems Tiger lost some golf tournament and the "haters" had come out of the proverbial thicket to mock him and I said that I didn't care about his golf game - I thought he was an unlikable person. My friend asked why I thought that and I said I thought he was a horrible father, husband, and son and that he lacked any character or morals. We debated it for a while and then agreed to disagree (like in high school I'll take a dump in his locker some day and the fight will resume in earnest).

In light of Tuesday's Weiner fiasco (literally, folks - PS - why did my genetics work out the way they did?) I want to clarify something that is actually more important to me than my blog posts, behavior, and general "nature" might imply . . . we men must put some character back in our lives. We need a return to basic morals. Let me clarify.

I abhor infidelity. Truly. I think it is true cowardice. You get bored? You want a little something on the side? You crave some "strange" (as a friend of mine used to hilariously call all the other sexual partners in the entire world)? That's technically okay. If you believe in wiring and nature and animal instincts that is technically implied. BUT here's what you HAVE TO DO. Finish what you started. Sit the person you are with down. Look them in the eye. Tell them to their face that you've got to look around and that you have these urges. Can't do that? You're maybe a coward and you are definitely flawed in character. If you e-mail, text, just serve them with papers, or - even worse - say NOTHING and dip a toe in another pond or pool (pond is good for you) and THEN leave . . . you are worse. If you try the "strange" and decided the grass was greener to begin with and never say anything . . . the words I have for you are not going to help my readership here grow.

So go back to Tiger Woods or Anthony Weiner. Or Bill Clinton (who as you all (should) know is sorta' my hero if only based on proximity to my beloved Hillary Clinton). Or the husband on The Good Wife (I watched the first season and have forgotten all their names in the meantime). Or any other person in power that has ever gotten caught doing something unclean with his personal bits and chose to ask the woman he betrayed to stand by him in the immediate after math of it and ask yourself if there is anything LESS respectful you could ever do.

You cheated. You got caught. You are holding a public apology. You want/request/beg/need the person you harmed the most (and, let's be honest the ONLY person you really harmed (kids are resilient and don't require fidelity in their parents, technically (but should not see the alternative, to be clear)) to stand by you and be photographed and maybe even answer questions? You're not a real person. You have no character. Tiger Woods was even worse. He dragged his MOTHER in to the mess. Can you imagine sitting in the front row at a press conference where your son is talking about his love of sex with waitresses and you have to just sit there? With cameras fixed on you? WHAT IS GOING ON, son?

And don't give me this crap that the women really do love and accept and forgive those men. Maybe they do. Maybe they, in time, accepted it and worked through it and chose to accept the man back in their lives and perhaps even their beds but in that immediate wake of the incident? When the shock is still settling? No chance. NO chance. Even in a marriage of convenience where there are "arrangements" there is no way that the forgiveness is really there. The WHOLE POINT of the sham marriage and the understandings is that it is to be kept PRIVATE. It is to be DISCREET.

Here's what I suggest . . . if you are a man of power and you can't be faithful to the women who agree to spend a life with you - don't ask a woman to spend her life with you. You're a man of influence. You can do whatever you want. Ever heard of Derek Jeter? Yeah. That is how you should go, you man whore. And YES I get that you can't be as (readily) successful as a politician or an iconic brand maker if you don't have the idyllic wife and kids. I feel so bad for all of you men of ambition who can't have all the cake and eat all of the cake, too. (That is sarcasm.) If you MUST try to have it both ways at least do me, yourself, the women you "love" and the people you supposedly want to serve a favor and show a little character. Have some morals. Take the press conference alone. Insist the press leave your spouse completely alone. Let them have all the time and space they need without a public appearance or a word of support and understanding.

It's not too much to ask. If you respect YOURSELF you can maybe respect other people . . . the woman by your side, or otherwise.

Rant adjourned.