|"Hey, uh kettle . . . yeah . . . you know you're black, right?"|
I knew exactly what she meant . . . she thinks I am a hypocrite (as anyone who's known me since my mother ejected me from my first, and favorite home (aka her womb) knows I've never, ever thought much of those who exercise, take care of their bodies, and actually enjoy physical activity (I know, I know, I know.)). I asked her about it and she was gingerly to point out that it was not "really" or "just" (I can't find/remember exact words) me but she DID notice I have talked a lot of crap about runners for someone who is suddenly running and Tweeting about how much I am running.
Let me clarify (without a defensive bone in my body on this one) to anyone else who might be feeling the same urge to call me out . . . I HATE running. It is the WORST. It is HORRIBLE. I can't really breathe. My body aches. My hands and feet swell over time. My right foot gets "sleepy" off and on. There is lots and lots of sweating going on. There is some mental anguish. There is some rage and loathing. There is NO love in running for me. There may eventually come some love but there is certainly not any now. Here's why I update people on the running . . . sharing my workouts is part of my agreement (see the disclaimer at the bottom of this post) and, candidly, I am doing okay out there. Anything I've said is statement of fact - not affection.
I'm not mad at this person . . . I went through and read some of my own updates and can see where she might have come under the impression I was a "Born Again" runner.
Rest assured - like paying my taxes, applying for every job I'm qualified for and even remotely interested in (when I really just want to focus on the ones that I'm really interested in - there are a few of those currently active), sending weekly update e-mails to my family (another post for another time), flossing twice a day, biting my tongue when people say "juju" in public, and watching my diet . . . running is something I do out of a sense of duty and obligation. I do it because I committed to doing it. I run because I must (there are not nearly enough days between me and this race for me to believe I'll be truly ready if I don't take this 100% seriously).
I promise to do a formal mea culp and issue and apology to all you nutcases, crazy people, and fools who claim/swear to actually "love" running well before I come out of the fat closet as a "Runner" (capital R to show respect).
As always - PLEASE keep me honest in this world. You're the only people who can.