What STARTED as a simple, throw-away gesture (my daughter wanted to make a pine cone/peanut butter/seed "feeder") turned in to my obsession and THREE bird feeders that hold a total of ten pounds of feed at a time. To be clear there are a total of eighteen feeding holes and there are at least a dozen of these winged creatures out there at any given time just snacking away. And that should be fine. I'm doing my part and making it "simple" for them. But then it gets weird - I can't let the levels get below half way full or I get anxious. If the cylinders go completely dry I feel like the worst bird-feeder in the history of bird non-owners.
This would not be such a big deal if I, you know, went somewhere during the day. If I had 10 hours a day at a, you know, job. But in lieu of that I feel like as long as I keep the birds well fed I'm doing my part and contributing. So I walk down the street once every other day and carry back thirty pounds of food.
I don't know what my bird obsession means or where it ends (suffices it say I was polling folks the other day on the pros and cons of a BB pistol for keeping those stupid squirrels off my lawn and feeders) but at some point (yesterday) I found myself putting things back in the grocery story so I could keep bird feed in the budget. I even went online late last night to see about bulk purchasing seed to get me through the summer (for the record - not really cost effective). I'm not starving my child (for the record) but I'm making tough financial decisions in favor of these things that bring me nothing more than company and visitors.
And then it hit me - this is the perfect way to summarize my personality . . . obsessive, afraid of being lonely, pedantic, nurturing, giving, frugal, and good-intentioned with just a hint of a desire to get a BB gun and shoot something.
Feel free to stop by any old time. Bring bird seed.