5/1/13

Sean and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Year . . .

Today is May 1st (I know you already know this) and this day means nothing to most of you (beyond the fact that "May flowers" can finally emerge) but to me it is an important date. It marks the one year anniversary and the 366th day since the day I decided my marriage was officially over to the outside world (we'd told family and my ex had told several friends) and one year since I decided I would take the "power" back in my life. Yeah. So, to recount:

  • Endured very long, miserable summer of discontent
  • Marriage over
  • Hired a lawyer
  • Moved out
  • Gained weight
  • Lost job
  • Aggravated friends
  • Have a kid who's seen a ton of changes and lost some sleep and felt some angst (all at my fault)
  • Continued as a social recluse
  • Went through the first suicide of someone I personally knew
  • Spent dozens of hours in a comfy chair opposite a counselor

Instead of being empowering it has been much like of my favorite children's books, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day by Judith Viorst. Not familiar? No worries. It is an older children's book you may have heard as a kid (I did, and I read my old copy to my kiddo some days). The basic premise is that NOTHING goes our hero's way and he's pretty sure if he was in a different place (Australia) his luck would turn around and the world would be better. Is he right? No need to find and read the book . . . you can WATCH it (if you have 30 minutes).

DISCLAIMER: This may be the worst musical/animation/book reading/thing ever seen and likely, by extension, that you've ever seen.







Yep. It has been pretty grim for Alexander and me. And yet here I sit, a year later, and I have to say it's not been all bad. To recount:

  • Endured a fantastic fall, winter and early spring full of nutty Kansas weather and great windows to watch it through
  • Friendship with my ex-wife established
  • Found a small apartment I love/call home and have less quantity of but much higher quality of time with my daughter
  • Started to lose weight
  • Have applied/interviewed/been considered for dozens of jobs that have (largely) all truly intrgiued me as a professional
  • Made friends, deepened friendships, reconnected with my network in a true/genuine way
  • Have a kid who's enjoys having two homes (and double sets of shoes, clothes, earrings, toys, books, etc.), parents that FINALLY get along, and lost some teeth (naturally) and felt more love than she had in the 6 years prior (all to her own credit and delight)
  • Continued as a social recluse (I only need a small circle. I'm actually happy I finally realized this!)
  • Dug deeper than I thought I might and helped console people I love through a suicide 
  • Spent dozens and DOZENS of hours in a comfy chair with a rabbi and a congregation of Jews that welcome, embrace, support, and delight me

So - there you go. Yin/yang. Things are not "perfect" today (a year later) - I could still use a job but I feel like I am close to solving that riddle. But, much more importantly . . .  I have survived it. I might even argue I've thrived through it because, as the wise Alexander points out in his book. . . "some (years) are just like that."