Morpheus Takes the Red Pill . . .

No. This is NOT my car. It is just the same make/model/year/
color. Morpheus never looked this good. Never. But a more
loyal car you'll never meet. 
Are you sitting down? You should be. You stand way too much. Got some very bad news this morning. Apparently Morpheus, the beloved 2003 Toyota Matrix I bought without ever even so much as a test drive in December 2003 and that is the only car I've ever owned is apparently dead.

I bought Morpheus, I will freely acknowledge, to allow me to properly court a woman I loved who lived in Baltimore. It worked. She became my wife. We started a family and have moved and changed our life a million times. It makes sense, in some overly cheesy novel-like way that the car is near death as the love it helped fuel dies beside it (sidenote - my ex-wife's car that she also drove the day I met her died a few months ago and she has a new car now too). I won't worry about symbolism today, though. Too pissy.

I should clarify - Morpheus WORKS. I drove to the dealership this morning for an oil change, a new tire, to have my license plate fixed, and to see why it has been making a weird noise the last few months (I don't get cars, I don't care about cars, I don't believe in being proactive about odd noises coming from my car, etc.). I expected a few hundred dollars and a good, stern, finger wagging as my cost to get my car back on the road. But, no.

Apparently cars need oil and lubrication (giggle) and fluids. And apparently without them the mechanical parts of the engine will do things like dry up, seize, break, crumble, and fall in to disrepair. And apparently this is bad. Very bad.

So I have a choice. I can put $5,100 in to a decade old car or I can put out between 2x and 3x that amount and get a whole new car that would be equally loved and cherished and, in theory, get me another decade of driving. CAN being the key word. As regular readers know, I have no job and no income so my savings is not really flush enough to just absorb $5,100 and my ability to get a car loan is probably not what it should be these days. Couple that with a home that has been lingering in short sale/foreclosure hell for the last nine months and . . . well . . . I'm walking it for the time being.

I don't like the fact that I'm FORCED to do anything or make this decision. I don't do well with not being in control in these contexts. People make bad decisions when they have a proverbial gun to their head. I don't like being that guy.

I tell you this story not for sympathy. I need no help or offers of it. I need no suggestions on what to do. I need nothing other than what I've needed for the last several months - to get back to work. To get back to life. To get back to being challenged, and productive, and happy with the notion that life is moving in the right direction again. \

I'll properly eulogize Morpheus once a decision has been made and this situation has been remedied.