It is the delightfully charming tale of a dysfunctional family that join together to prevent world terror with the blessing of an operative of the US government. It is truly a tale for our times and something that will leave your stomach in a knot over how glib you are to the world around you.
I kid, I kid. Fast 6 (as fans like me like to call it) is the latest (hope you are sitting down - SIXTH) installment of a film franchise that spans twelve years and a million eulogies. And yet here - on the cusp of crossing over just about any other standing movie franchise except some of the horror films and Harry Potter (correct me if I am wrong here) with a seventh installment - it is speeding up and getting better.
Let me clarify what I mean by "better" . . . it is getting more and more deft and doing what it does - make the absurd enjoyable and making street criminals the heroes (who are - by now - hackers, surveillance experts, sniper-caliber shooters, weapons experts, not just fast and agile drivers but true trick drivers, hard abed lovers) in the process. I HONESTLY believe the "fast" franchise is the best franchise ever and I will happily debate it with anyone who wants to question.
Lest you think I've lost my mind in endorsing Fast 6 as a truly great film - here are a handful of the things I loved about the movie (and this doesn't even include the really absurd stuff that could be considered "spoilers"):
- Number of times a person jumps from either a speeding car or an airplane to a speeding vehicle (if my count is accurate) - 9
- Number of baby oil jokes - 2
- Number of times a sterling silver crucifix has emotionally changed hands in the first five films - 4
- Number of times it changes hands in this installment - 4
- Number (approximated) of miles long the runway at the end of the movie would have to be to make sense - 80
- Number (approximated) yards from the end of the runway the runway chase ends - 20, maybe 30
- Number of times Dwayne Johnson's physical stature (for being bigger or smaller than his fight opponent) is a joke - 6
- Number of people killed from the core "crew" of the franchise in each installment of the franchise - 1
- Number of people killed from the core "crew" of the franchise in this film - 1
- Number of twists and betrayals in each installment of the franchise (including this one) - 1
- Number of times that twist is either someone turning out to be a law enforcement officer under cover as a bad guy or a bad guy undercover as a law enforcement officer - 1
- Number of scars "Dom" and "Letti' have - INEXPLICABLY - in the same spot on their body based on a coral reef incident - 1
- Number of nods/inside jokes in this movie to a joke from each of the previous films - 1
- Number of technologies/chase elements/action sequences in this one that give a nod to each previous film - 1
- Number of minutes two concurrent hand-to-hand combat sequence in the London "tube" (without any interference from observers or police) - 7