|My new kicks, complete with "high contrast"|
filter for dramatic effect. Taaah-daaaah.
I knew that I had tried and failed at every diet the world had ever known and that exercise made me want to punch someone in the face BUT I knew that if I could get an aggressive push on the weight loss, my body might allow for some exercise and I could finally be a "normal" person (goal was never to be skinny, by the way, but to be around 200 pounds and "healthy").
It worked. I lost 300 pounds in a little over 18 months and I lost an additional 25 in the three months that followed getting me to 205 pounds where I stayed for over a year. I have HUNDREDS of blog posts about the adventure, if you're interested.
Here's the ONE thing gastric bypass (as simply A TOOL in the battle against obesity) can't do for you (it will take away your stomach, the ability to eat modified/processed sugars, will help you beat a number of medical conditions and will help you lose more weight than you thought was possible (with diligence and hard work)) - it can't fix your brain or your emotional connection with food.
My surgical program and everything I read made it clear if you do NOT cure the mental ills that drove you to food (and NO ONE GETS SUPER MORBIDLY OBESE WITHOUT A MENTAL PROBLEM, by the way) . . . you will ultimately fail in your quest to be healthy.
And fail I did. The minute my marriage officially imploded, I started eating and stopped moving. I do NOT blame my ex-wife (I've never blamed anyone but myself for a single pound on my body) but I DO blame myself for not coming up with a better way to deal and cope. That was about three years ago now and I took a new job about 22 months ago that really started the acceleration (it was a very anxious time and a lot of uncertainty during my entire tenure) and the months since losing my job . . . fuhgeddaboud.
BUT here's what I am doing - putting myself on the PUBLIC RECORD that I, Sean C. Amore, will pull myself up off the grocery store floor, throw away all fast food paper wrappers, exorcise all deep fried potato wafers from my home and fight on to FINALLY get a mental health plan that will allow me to get less fat again (it's ugly how much I've gained, folks) and to find a new respite from my mental quirks that doesn't involve chewing.
I've got some ideas - knitting and nymphomania among them (I kid, nudity freaks me out) - I'm going to:
- Dust off my gastric bypass cookbooks
- Lace up the new kicks I bought
- Strap on my little tiny iPod (complete with Girl Talk music) and some shorts and walk. Regularly.
- I'll eat NO MORE than 1,100 calories a day (while getting 75g of protein and no more than 25g of fat)
- I will drink NOTHING but water, iced tea, and fat free milk
- I will no longer eat anything that is served to me in paper wrappers or bags more than 1x/week
- I will do at least 300 calories worth of exercise five days a week (ideally seven)
- I will not buy any clothes bigger than the ones I have now
- I will not rage out at any one or any thing NOR will I eat my feelings
- I will look better (be thinner, healthier, and happier) one day from today