Hump Day . . .

In a world of weird things that people say that I'm not okay with and will never understand or accept (there's not enough time or space on all of Google's servers to list them all) the one that has always sorta' plagued me the MOST is "Hump Day."

I get it. Wednesday. Middle of the week. As Miley Cyrus once warbled, we've made The Climb and sometime around mid-day today, we'll start the descent and the "weekend is coming" (so, uh, hang in there baby (cue cat on limb of tree and/or clinging to toilet seat (another thing I loathe - Internet memes like "cats")). I totally get the joke. And it has been "funny" in some weird, unfunny, un-ironic way for a very long time, I might presume. So WHY? Where? When? Whom (if only so we can kick their ass)? Like any of my curiosities and open questions I IMMEDIATELY dismissed it as "not my problem" and "something I'm better than" (I'm kidding, sorta') and then dug a little deeper.

Turns out - there is NO good/logical/sensible/acceptable set of answers to the 5 Ws of "Hump Day." And, as such, I'd like to officially ask all of you to stop saying it. With ironic or genuine intention. Publicly or privately. On t-shirts of Twitter. In social interaction or office settings. Around the office cooler or a pitcher of beer. If you MUST do it, fine. I'll allow it. I'm not going to judge or dismiss you (you Caucasian Cancer, you). I'm not even going to roll my eyes if you use it in front of me (unlike if you say you are "good" if I ask how you are). But I'd simply ask you this . . . if you don't know why you say something and if you don't honestly find it smart, funny, unique, or useful - why are you doing it?

At least wait until Thursday when you can point a knowing finger and pop a knowing wink at any woman eating green M&Ms. Or is that Tuesday? I can't keep all the stupid things people say apart these days.

As you were . . .