2/20/13

Life Path . . .

I spent about an hour today sitting in my car and thinking (no - that is not euphemism for crying . . . I really was just sitting in the warmth, watching snow melting as it hit the windshield and pondering the world around me) about "things."

As I continue my job search I'm sort of realizing something . . . life is sorta' screwy. And there is no right or wrong "path" to take. This is not a post about G-d or The Divine or fate or whatever . . . quite the opposite. I think the notion that we all have a plan or destiny that is bigger than and unknown to us is a) completely true and b) something we only need to ponder on or after our death beds. In the day-to-day, it matters naught (let's be honest, only THIS GUY chooses what to order in a McDonald's drive-thru).

Nope. This post is about how every. Little. Thing. Contributes to the here-and-now and then there-and-then.

An example - when I was picking colleges, I was screwing around and STARTED with the letters X and Q. This gave me about eight total institutes of higher learning to really dig in to (fret not, I eventually opened it up to the entire alphabet, applied to 9 schools and got wait-listed and ultimately refused by just 1 (curse you Syracuse University)). I tell you this because if I had not started with Q, I might not have ever LOOKED at Q. And if I never looked, I would have never found Quinnipiac. Where I did my undergrad.

If I didn't do undergrad there, I wouldn't have made the friends I did. I would never have never left there a semester early to start graduate school. Would have never gotten my internship that became my first job. Would have never worked full time and gone to grad school full time in that exact combination and would have not decided to postpone my PhD by a year. And would have not then decided to postpone two. Then three. Then met my eventual wife, etc. etc. etc.

NONE of that would have happened. Or would it have? I could have started with the letter A. Still arrived at Q. Still visited Quinnipiac. Still fell in love and matriculated.

Or I could have fell in love with Aaadams College and met different friends and still left to start grad school early. Or started late. Or decided to still get my PhD but in DC vs. in Rhode Island, Connecticut, or Philly. Or I could have just visited DC for the weekend and still met my eventual wife.

The fact is the ONLY decision that lead to me meeting Joy was me decided to meet Joy. Then riding the Metro to our meeting. Etc.

It was VITAL that I met Joy. It was the proverbial turning point in my life but everything before that was probably every bit as vital and crucial and impactful but they could have all been 1,000,000 other decisions and actions and experiences and been as important. And all of them were really decided on by a power bigger, bolder, wiser, and more nuanced than I. And none of that - or this - or that - will matter until my deathbed.