12/4/12

Sweater Weather . . .

I don't know what the hell is going on here in The Heartland but I'm prettttttty much allllll set with temps in the mid-60s. Or low 60s. Or 50s. Or even 40s. I grew up in a maggggical place called Upstate, New York (yes, I know it is going to be 57 degrees there today but I'm on a roll, let me go) where there were four, pronounced seasons with WINTER lasting (blissfully) FOUR months out of the year.

And for a guy like me, winter is not just a magically cold and snowy time of the year - it is SWEATER WEATHER. And I lovvvvve sweater weather. V-necks, sweater vests, cardigans, crew necks, etc. It doesn't matter. I'll wear 'em ALL (except a twin set and/or boat neck - I mean, puhleeeze).

Give me sweater weather. Let me enjoy sweater weather. Let me do what I do best and wear a sweater. Just cut the crap with the warm air, Koch brothers. The American people, with our ample hefts and limited fashion confidence like - nay NEED - the sweater. We like a bulky layer to disguise our bulky layer. We need something fashionable yet eternal. We need something wool, cotton, and/or cashmere (If you're wearing an acrylic sweater - you're on your own, folks. Seriously. Cut that out. Now).

I'm ready for at least a few months of every day sweater weather. I just stocked up! I got six (orange, yellow, black, green, light blue, and red) of the greatest v-neck sweater in the history of the v-neck sweater from the greatest store in the history of stores, JC Penney. Let me wear 'em. Let it get chilly. Let sweater weather commence. PS - Death sweaters look GOOD on me! Tell em, Beans!