11/10/12

Changing It Up . . .

I hate change. Loathe it. For those that truly know me, this is a bit of an understatement. I don't like moving, changing cable providers, shortening the length of my grass or shopping for a "new" sugary cereal for Ava.

Hell - I don't even like having to find new toothpaste when Crest discontinues my favorite flavor (and where HAS my Whitening Expressions Vanilla Mint gel gone anyway, you jerks? - side bar, Tom's of Maine makes some amazing yapper scrub.). I don't like any part of change. I will stay "where" I am doing, "what" I am doing forever if someone or something can't force me shake it up.

I can remember when I was in school the first two or three weeks of the academic year/semester were wasted by my angst of having to redesign my days and hours and the first two or three weeks of break were lost to the same stewing. I'd be cranky, angry, disjointed, and generally unpleasant.

It has been 12 1/2 years since I finished my Master's degree. In that time my "change" has been limited to dating, getting married, separating, moving four times (including this last move which puts me exactly .72 miles from my previous residence) and changing jobs three times. That's a remarkable amount of status quo for a guy that is constantly telling people to take calculated chances/risks and to pursue life with gusto.

I could easily argue that the reason I give advice I would probably not take myself is because of some deep insecurity that I'm not able to handle risks or chances taken. That's not true. I could try to blame this on a reverse-psychology trick designed to make others suffer. Not my style. One might presume that I'm trying to mask my own behaviors with best intentions. No need for that. Nope. The reason I would give advice I might not take myself is simple . . . I WISH I could figure out how to handle change because I believe it to be simple, manageable, and positive. The advice I give others is the advice I give myself. Daily.

I'm learning to be more adventurous. Trying to take chances. Factoring in strategic risks in my choices and behaviors. Hoping to walk the talk and trying, very hard, to not waste a single minute of opportunity and transition because it is not something I'm comfortable with.

Turns out - my hippie toothpaste tastes nothing like my old favorite but I sorta' like it better.