As many of you know, I'm "passionate" about very little in this life (that is sarcasm). One of the handful of things that really does matter to me is Public Radio, specifically KMUW here in Wichita, Kansas.
The reality is that we live in a state where words like culture, art, music, insight, education, worldview, empathy, and Car Talk don't seem to have nearly enough "value" to the average citizen. This is not a criticism of Kansas (yes, yes it is) alone because our entire nation feels that way. More and more, public broadcasting (TV and radio) are having to raise their own funds, see opportunities for matching grants ignored or refused out of spite and are having to prepare loyal listeners/viewers/fans for the WORST - that the elegant Diane Rehm may not feel their ear holes on a regular basis.
Well NOT this guy. NO chance. I may not have a lot of money (seriously - my gas tank is on fumes but at least I'm not still living in the guest room of the home I pay the mortgage on . . . I digress) but I DO have a lot of friends. Educated friends. Cultured friends. Empathetic friends. Public radio loving friends.
It is for this reason that, for the next 9 days, I will be Tweeting almost exclusively about why YOU should support public radio. Why YOU should get out your debit card, check book, piggy banks or that cup holder in your car where all the coins are so sticky anyway, and give!
But I'm not just urging you to give for the standard "thank you for your donation stuff" (and seriously, folks, if you do NOT have an NPR tote bag SOMEWHERE in your possession - are you REALLY living) . . . no, no. I'm asking you to give for the SEAN C. AMORE PLEDGE DRIVE.
Here's how it works . . . you call, go-online or stop by KMUW (3317 E. 17th St. N. Wichita, KS 67208) between now and next Saturday morning (October 6, 2012) and give what you can. Give a one-time thingy, set up a monthly thingy, do something customized . . . whatever you can and THEN you let me know who you are and what you gave (you can Tweet at me @SeanCAmore (double hashtag it #PledgeKMUW and #Seandraising, e-mail me (seancamore-at-gmail-dot-com), or text me (if you don't have my cell, be more resourceful in this life).
I will tally the money that was donated through this effort and - based on the cumulative total - will do the following things (and these are cumulative, not mutually exclusive of each other) . . .
COMPLETED! 1) If $100 is given (and not pledged, it is bush league to tell them you'll give and then not), I'll change my Twitter avatar to whatever photo those who donate collectively agree on for 90 days.
COMPLETED! 2) If $150 is given, I'll personally give a tour of KMUW to anyone that gave at least $5 as part of this effort (and to clarify, I don't even know my way around most of the station and have no security access so it should be a goooood time).
COMPLETED! 3) If $200 is given, I'll start spelling giggidy the RIGHT way (giggity) for one month.
COMPLETED! 4) If $250 is given, I will not complain about Instagram for at least 90 days and will, in the meantime, download and start USING the app. Who knows - I might LIKE it. No. No I won't.
COMPLETED! 5) If $300 is given, I'll use the word "juju" in a non-sarcastic way whenever it is appropriate (which is ALWAYS, clearly) for 90 days.
COMPLETED! 6) If $350 is given, I will host a hummus party at Oeno on a Thursday where one of those super pricey cheese trays I love so bad and the first round of drinks for anyone who donated even $5 to the cause is on me.
COMPLETED! 7) If $400 is given, I'll tell you any one who gave $20 or more the secret of mine was not only posted on PostSecret.com but made one of the BOOKS! Trust me, wicked awkward.
COMPLETED! 8) If $450 is given, I will watch every episode of Arrested Development and Season 1 of "Modern Family" and tell you all how "funny" and "genius" those shows really are.
COMPLETED! 9) If $500 is given, I will give customized, sexist, demeaning nicknames to every one of my female followers on Twitter whom I love so bad (NO more confusion over who the REAL "Snickerdoodle" or "Baklava" is)!
COMPLETED! 10) If $550 is given, I will publicly apologize to the one person that those giving $20/person (or more) to the cause collectively feel deserves my groveling. And I don't apologize without big, ugly tears.
COMPLETED! 11) If $600 is given, I'll write personalized "Thank You" notes to every person giving even $1 to the cause (that's going to cost ME money if you each just give $1 - I don't buy crap stationery, yuns).
COMPLETED! 12) If $650 is given, I'll stop going out of my way to make Cassandra Schwartz's life hell JUST for being a "proud millennial".
COMPLETED!13) If $700 is given, I'll stop being a complete curmudgeon toward the entire world for the sake of being a curmudgeon. Because If I can get people in my life to donate that much to public radio, life is not really "that" bad, right?
COMPLETED! 15) If $800 is given, I'll let everyone who gave even $1 choose the "Song of the Day" for one day and will not even clarify that their crap taste in music is not really my taste - I'll just let the world believe I'm DIGGING the tune. LOVING it.
COMPLETED! 16) If $850 is given, I'll have anyone who gave $25 or more over to my apartment for a 1:1 or 1:2 evening. We'll have some dinner and play a board game, chat about our childhoods, dreams and goals and then, when the pills in your beverage kick in, I'll bind and gag you and put you in my basement - unharmed (what sort of animal do you take me for?). You can even text loved ones to let them know where you'll be, just in case things go south. THIS is your chance, ladies. And fellas.
COMPLETED! 17) If $900 is given, I will rejoin Facebook and will post and comment as I had for years BUT will only be "friends" (at least initially) with people who donated at least $20 to the cause. I won't set a timeline to this because I don't think I'll make it much beyond a month or so. Stupid Facebook.
COMPLETED! 18) If $1,000 is given (and you KNOW this shows my passion for KMUW), I'll stop Tweeting about (but not obsessing over) #boobs for at least 180 days. That might be a demotivator for many of you but - we'll all survive it. That 181st day will be boobtastic!
And NO - I will NEVER own an iPhone. Ever. Ever. Ever, ever, ever. Never. Ever. Never, never. Ever. For real.
So there you have it. Get TO it, people. The power is in YOUR hands. Click here to donate!